Kerfuffle

I'm betting this is not the headline and lead paragraphs she had in mind for her obituary

From the Associated Press, via HuffPo...

Solange Magnano:  Former Miss Argentina Dies From Cosmetic Buttocks Surgery

BUENOS AIRES, Argentina — A 38-year-old former Miss Argentina has died from complications after undergoing cosmetic surgery on her buttocks.

Solange Magnano, a mother of twins who won the crown in 1994, died of a pulmonary embolism Sunday after three days in critical condition following a gluteoplasty in Buenos Aires.

Close friend Roberto Piazza said the procedure involved injections and the liquid "went to her lungs and brain."

"A woman who had everything lost her life to have a slightly firmer behind," he said.

I know, I know; it's a tragedy.  The woman died, and needlessly so it would appear.  But, it's still funny in one of those "don't let this be you" kind of ways.  Gluteoplasty?  Really?  Baby wanted more back?  Eat a lot of Cheetos, fried chicken and ice cream and you'll get the same result without having to shoot killer goop into your bottom.

And, no, this should not be covered under the public option.

We're but a speck in the Universe. As if you need to be reminded of that.

Music by Beethoven.  Photography by NASA.  Subject matter by the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

One of the things I am thankful for: We still have Sarah Palin to laugh at. Bless her heart; she brings so much joy and laughter to me also too

Indeed, Sarah Palin is the gift that keeps on giving.  And like all good things, sometimes one can just have too much also, you bet.  I have one conservative friend who likes to advance the opinion that I am afraid of Ms. Palin whenever i make light of her. apparently ignorance and shallowness  "You really fear her, don't you?" TR wrote on my Facebook page a few weeks ago.  Umm, no.  Hardly.

It's become a conservative meme:  Democrats really fear her; they are obsessed with her.  While I doubt the first part of that thought, I reluctantly agree that liberals do seem kind of consumed with the half-term-then-quit former Alaska governor.  I can't speak for everyone, but my fixation is due to the fact that she is so fucking hilarious.  Not intentionally, mind you, but she is a walking cartoon.  Unfortunately, she is also a sad commentary of how we seem to pick candidates in this country these days.  To hell with gravitating toward someone who is really smart, since it would appear that intellectualism and competence are bad words (at least in Republican circles).  People cite Palin as being "real" and "for liberty" and "of the people."  Oh my fucking god are you fucking kidding me?  Really?  That's your basis for seeing her as a viable candidate?  Wow.

Fortunately, she is still easily duped.  During the book-signing tour this week, the Canadian version of The Daily Show, This Hour Has 22 Minutes, sent a "correspondent", in character to interview Palin.  While her handlers detected a rouse, Madame Palin herself didn't. she just saw another press opportunity...

So, yes, I do have a slightly unhealthy fixation on Sarah Palin.  I admit it.  I can't help it... she's such a fucking dolt.  As the comedians like to say, the jokes just write themselves.  I am thankful this Thanksgiving that in these troubled times, we have Sarah Palin to laugh at.

You betcha.

The Illinois Tollway provides yet another example in support of why people think government agencies are incompetent and not to be trusted

Apparently, to deal with the Illinois Tollway folks is to deal with incompetent nincompoops.

In July of 2008, I wrote this post about how we tried to pay a fine with the Illinois Tollway based on some I-Pass issues.  I assumed we were at fault, and I sent the tollway authority a check.  They sent it back, saying I didn't provide enough documentation, even though I sent them the violation notices.  This post still draws a few hits a week almost 18 months later, telling me a lot of people are frustrated with the tollway's incompetent attempts to collect money.

Eventually, the issue above supposedly was resolved over the phone.  We still got calls for a while but they finally stopped.

Today, we begin a new chapter in Illinois Tollway stupidity with our receipt of a letter from a certain Arnold Harris, Attorneys at Law.  Arnold's computer-generated form letter tells us we owe $213 in tolls, fines and late fees for three unpaid fines at the Beloit toll plaza.  My partner Tom passes through that plaza two times each weekday en route to and from his job.  Mind you, no letters or anything else ever showed up to suggest we blew through without paying.  One must assume that the tollway's technology is working, and one also must assume the transaction goes through since I-Pass transactions are conducted automatically at 55 miles per hour using equipment owned and operated by the Tollway Authority.

What's so ridiculous about this is that there was never any attempt, I am guessing, to cross reference this with the data in our I-Pass account.  Within two minutes, I was able to go online, access the account, and see that all three tolls were logged as paid. I know they are the same tolls because they are listed at the exact minute as the alleged non-paid tolls.

In other words, even though we have three I-Pass transponders registered to our account under the exact same names and address our cars are registered under, and the exact same names and address the collection notice was mailed to, neither the Tollway Authority nor Arnold Harris Attorneys at Law made any apparent attempt to cross-check this. 

Given that Illinois is in a world of financial hurt right now, as are many states, I'm sure they would much rather collect $213 than the actual $1.50 in actual tolls involved.  And no doubt Arnold Harris Attorneys at Law gets a nice percentage if they collect.  I'm not necessarily saying that the Tollway Authority or Arnold Harris Attorneys at Law are being deceitful, hoping that these kind of notices will just get paid.  Nor an I necessarily saying that the Tollway Authority and Arnold Harris Attorneys at Law are lazy and just simply didn't do their homework before trying to collect money they are not owed.  I am saying, however, that this kind of incompetency is why so many people little faith or confidence in government agencies.  I'm also saying that if you are a law firm that makes a living by threatening people with legal action, you may want to check to see if you have a freakin' case before anything else.  Little wonder why the average person has a low opinion of lawyers.

On Monday we'll fire off a leter with copies of the notice from Arnold and the documentation -- provided by the Tollway Authority's own web site -- to the Tollway Authority.  With a little luck, we'll have this all clear up by Christmas.  Christmas 2010.  Maybe.

Newest social networking complaint: "Dude! I friended a girl on Facebook and she turned out to be a cop and busted me for underaged drinking!" (mumbles "bitch" under breath)

It's kind of like "1984" meets "Candid Camera" meets "Cops"...

From K J Lang of the La Crosse (WI) Tribune...

University of Wisconsin-La Crosse student Adam Bauer has nearly 400 friends on Facebook. He got an offer for a new one about a month ago. “She was a good-looking girl. I usually don’t accept friends I don’t know, but I randomly accepted this one for some reason,” the 19-year-old said.

He thinks that led to his invitation to come down to the La Crosse police station, where an officer laid out photos from Facebook of Bauer holding a beer — and then ticketed him for underage drinking.

The police report said Bauer admitted drinking, which he denies. But he did plead no contest in municipal court Wednesday and will pay a $227 fine.

A cursory glance through Facebook photos yields immediate examples of kids drinking beer.  Conveniently, most Facebook profiles include birth dates with years.  Add it up and it will cost you about $227, at least if you're a student at UW La Crosse.  And doesn't that suck.

The article allows that the local police justify their actions, saying...

“Law enforcement has to evolve with technology,” Iverson said. “It has to happen. It is a necessity —not just for underage drinking.”

Consider that next time you decide the beer bong pictures taken before the football game are ever so hilarious and must be shared with the Facebook universe.  Even more, consider that you don't even have to post those pictures.  If one of your friends does, and then tags you in the photos, you may end up like hapless Adam Bauer.

One thing I was wondering, though, is how can they prove it's actually beer?  Last time I poured an O'Doul's into a glass, it looked just like Budweiser.  Of course, the legal fees to have some attorney argue that will easily exceed the $227 no-contest plea.

[h/t: Pam for the link via Twitter]

Eleven random things that are rattling around in my head and need to fall out

1. It's kind of white-trashy, but I really love the "Asian chicken salad" from our local grocery store with the white trashy name:  Piggly Wiggly.  The stuff isn't much more than what I assume to be chicken, shredded cabbage, those cheap ramen noodles and some kind of sesame dressing.  But it's great.
2. I saw a guy driving a car a few days ago that had "Fire Congress" and "Obama is bankrupting all of us" spelled out across the back in those 2x3 stick-on letters you can buy at the hardware store.  There were some libertarian stickers I couldn't read, and and NRA sticker too.  On the highway, he came up in the center lane beside me and directly behind a car with stickers that read "Islam is Love" and "Welcome to Islam."  As I thought to myself, well, this can't be good, True American Guy whipped into the far left lane, pulled parallel to Islam Guy and gave him one hell of a stank eye.  Islam Guy looked over at me and we both had a good laugh.
3. I will never be able to fully understand why dogs think it's great to roll in deer poop.  It must be really special to them, because they are so bummed when you wash it off.
4. Sometimes I see college kids wearing the weirdest shit, and yet it looks really cool.  The fastest way for it to look terribly not cool would be if I were to wear it.
5. It's kind of an odd thing to wish for, but what I really, really want for Christmas this year is a blizzard.  Not the crappy ice cream thing from Dairy Queen... but a real, honest to goodness Dr. Zhivago Siberian frozen tundra drifts across the driveway you can't see out the window blizzard.  And I want it to come a few days after Christmas when I don't have to be anywhere but at home.  
6. I could easily skip the entire Thanksgiving thing.  OK, I'll have some pumpkin pie.  But after nearly 50 of those dinners, doing a gut-buster meal of turkey and starch has kind of lost its appeal.
7. Not only have we not gotten around to putting into winter storage our 1973 Mustang convertible, but it is still sitting in the garage with the top down.  One of the cats was sleeping in the back seat today. 
8. If you thought a little kid got all kinds of excited about getting a piece of candy, you ought to see how an 1800 pound horse acts when she knows she'll be getting one of those star-bright mints you pocket on your way out of a restaurant. I hope the people at the Mill on Main tavern and grill in town know I am only taking a fistful of mints because they're for my equine friends.
9. If we had a deep fryer in our kitchen at home, I would weigh 400 pounds.
10. Based on a brief examination of the recycling bin and the magazine basket in the bathroom, we received about 20 different catalogs since last Saturday.  What a waste.  Most go directly in the bin, just like all those phone books we get.  And note to Eddie Bauer:  Maybe you wouldn't be teetering on the brink of another bankruptcy if you trimmed your list back and send just one copy of your frequent catalogs to any given household instead of the three we get now.  It's called merge-purge in the direct mail business.  Look into it.
11. While I wouldn't suggest everyone run out and get one, I kind of like that we actually own a miniature donkey.  I don't mean like a Happy Meal toy from the Shrek movies.  I mean a real miniature donkey.  Loud, at times ornery, and likes to roll in horse shit... but still incredibly amusing to interact with and just observe.  That said, it's midnight and the little bastard is braying away out there.  Good thing our neighbors like him, since they have guns and all.

At first, I thought I was being asked a totally different question

To be a member of a college fraternity is to have a bunch of friends with weird, stupid, embarrassing, meaningless or otherwise odd nicknames.  Some are drug-oriented (Pheno).    Some are trait-based ("O" as in obnoxious).  Some are just abbreviations (Goldy). Two others attached to my Sig Ep brothers include "The Narl" and "Toast."

Knowing that, maybe you will understand my confusion when offered either Narly head or Toasted head.  Whaaaaaaaat?

Oh, we're talking about wine.  Like the red stuff in a bottle.  Wow.  That's totally different.

My bad.

Either way, I'll pass. 

[h/t to The Narl for the photo!]

Palin says her "facts" are better than AP's facts while Amazon dumps her book, pre-release, into the bargain bin also, too

To read Ron Fournier and some of the other Associated press political writers out of Washington DC is to know that these days the AP is tacking right.  That's one of the things that makes this so funny...

From HuffPo...

Former Alaska Governor lashed out at the Associated Press Sunday for doing a fact-check on her memoir, "Going Rogue."

"Amazingly, but not surprisingly, the AP somehow nabbed a copy of the book before it was released," she wrote on her Facebook page. "They're now erroneously reporting on the book's contents and are repeating many of the same things they spewed during the campaign and afterwards. We've heard 11 writers are engaged in this opposition research, er, "fact checking" research!"

The AP reported that Palin's account often contradicted her record as well as current events. Her depiction of the McCain campaign is also frequently at odds with internal campaign emails.

Even funnier:  the book isn't officially released until tomorrow, but over at Amazon, it's already in the bargain bin for $9.00 (You Save: $19.99 (69%).  Before it's actually released.  Before it's fucking released.  HA!

Incidentally, this is the same book that had El Rushbo lauding it as one of the "most substantive books" on policy he'd ever read.  Seriously, Boss, you need to get yourself a library card and do a little more book learnin'. 

The bargain bin!  Before it's released!  Really.  Best that she stick to Facebook. 

Take a moment and ask yourself this: What, exactly, is a moment?

Pretty cool.

Thanks to Hal Sparks for pointing me toward this. 

OK, defenders of the ever so "fair and balanced" FOX News: Care to try to defend this? Hard when it is indefensible, no?

Good luck.  This is a prime example of how the "journalists" at FOX "News" present "facts."

Funny in a way, especially when Jon Stewart is the de-bunker.  But there are a lot of people -- sadly, many that are even somewhat educated -- that believe this shit.

Apparently, FOX News and its TeaBagging pals were able to engineer the spectacular loss of a House seat held by the GOP since before the Civil War. Oops!

Too funny.  De Facto Republican leadership at FOX News and the Tea Party folks have done what the Democrats have not been able to do in 70 elections.  They essentially lost the seat by forcing out the locally chosen Republican candidate in favor of a third-party conservative.

The list of supporters of Doug Hoffman includes Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Neal Cavuto, Sarah Palin, Tim Pawlenty, Mike Huckabee, Fred Thompson, the Dick Armey, Rick Santorum, Geroge Pataki, Newt Gingrich and many more all lined up to trash regular Republican candidate Dede Scozzafava.  They called her all kinds of things beyond just being a RINO, and backed the otherwise unknown Doug Hoffman.

Democrat Bill Owens won.  Doug Hoffman lost.  He lost.  He fucking LOST.

Now, you know, this was a victory for real Republicans.  Real Republican Michelle Malkin says so...

Hoffman may have lost narrowly, but NY-23 is a much broader victory for conservatives who believe the Republican Party should stand for core limited government principles ....This is a victory of principle.

Better a donkey in office that acts like a donkey than a donkey in elephant’s clothing making a complete ass of the GOP.

Moreover, NY-23 is a victory for conservatives who refuse to be marginalized in the public square by either the unhinged left or the establishment right. A humble accountant from upstate New York exposed the hypocrisy of GOP leaders trying to solicit funds from conservatives by lambasting Pelosi and the Dems’ support for high taxes, Big Labor, and bigger government — while using conservatives’ money to subsidize a high-taxing, Big Labor-pandering, bigger government radical. The repercussions will be felt well beyond NY-23’s borders. Conservatives’ disgust with the status quo has been heard and felt. They have been silent too long. They will be silent no more.

OK, Michelle.  And you guys don't care about this stupid seat anyway.  Forget about how the de facto leaders at FOX News harped on how important this election as, and how it would be proof that the Tea Baggers were now calling the shots and that's how the Republican party is going to reclaim the throne they so rightly deserve.  That was before.  Before Hoffman lost.

Jed Lewison posted a montage over at DK, under the headline Engineering Defeat, that is about eight minutes worth of the several hours FOX News gave over to promoting this race and their special candidate...

The last time NY23 was not held by a Republican, it was held by a Whig.  Priceless.

Two idiots join forces with a Sharpie to earn dumbest criminals of the week award

Out of Carroll, Iowa comes the story of two would-be robbers who seemed to be without masks.  But they had a black permanent marker.

Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller, c'mon down!  You're on the national news wire for being complete dumb-asses!  Your mothers must be so proud of you.  And it's a pretty safe bet that you won't be getting those Mensa certificates anytime soon.

"They were being dumb and, combine that with alcohol, and it was the perfect storm," Carroll Police Chief Jeff Cayler told CNN.

"I've been chief here almost 25 years, been with the department 28½ years and I've seen a lot of things that make me laugh and weird things but this was probably the best combination of the two -- strangely weird and hilariously funny all at the same time."

Read the AP story here.

Known tech expert John McCain wants your Internet bill to look like your cable TV bill

The Republicans are ever so skilled at mis-branding (some would same lying about) things so their sheeple will side against something that is actually in their best interest.  The latest shameful effort is John McCain's "Internet Freedom Act."  As in "freedom for the Internet service providers to esentially create tiers of service, and then charge accordingly."

From PC World via Reuters...

McCain's bill, the Internet Freedom Act, seeks to do the opposite of what its name implies by ensuring that broadband and wireless providers can discriminate and throttle certain traffic while giving preferential treatment to other traffic. Basically, those in power or those who pay more will have better access. Apparently we have different definitions of 'freedom'.

According to the text of the McCain bill, the FCC "shall not propose, promulgate, or issue any regulations regarding the Internet or IP-enabled services." Isn't that what the FCC does? Isn't that sort of like introducing a bill to prohibit the Treasury from printing money, or a bill to prohibit the IRS from collecting taxes?

This bill comes from a man who proudly claimed he is neither a PC or a Mac when asked about his computer preference during the campaign.  He's more or less a self-admitted computer Luddite.  Great.  But it's not like he's completely without some perspective.  He is on the receiving end of more tel-com lobbyist cash than any other senator, and more than double the next closest recipient.  This from the guy who was supposedly all about campaign finance reform.  Tell me you aren't surprised this guy is all about the money.  Maverick, my ass.

Consider what might happen in the marketplace if the big tel-coms are allowed to play favorites with content.  For example, if you have Time-Warner as your ISP -- the same Time-Warner that owns CNN -- how will you feel when they speed up any CNN video feeds and slow to a crawl video from MSNBC and FNC?  Or if Comcast gts their wish and buys NBC Universal, it will be the NBC comedies that come down the Internet autobahn, and the ABC videos that get the dial-up speed dirt road.

In a worst-case scenario, Gizmodo suggests this unfortunate promotional piece from your ISP...

John McCain's Internet Freedom Act is another attempt by Republicans to reward big corporate donors with laws that enrich stockholders and screw consumers.  And these same Republicans count on the electorate being stupid enough to believe the "freedom" in the bill's name means this is a good thing for citizens.  No shame, these Republicans.

And now, time for yet another (sigh) look at the face of today's Republican Party: honoring the act of teabagging

Believe it or not, House Republicans are looking to pass this resolution, honoring the millions, umm, hundreds of thousands, OK, fine, tens of thousands of people who marched on Washington on September 12 to protest whatever Fox News was telling them they were protesting.

Seriously.  It reads as follows...

RESOLUTION

Expressing gratitude and appreciation to the individuals and families who participated in the Taxpayer March on Washington on September 12, 2009.

Whereas, on September 12, 2009, hundreds of thousands of American patriots, who refuse to sit idly by as the Federal Government advances skyrocketing deficits, taxpayer-funded bailouts, pork-barrel projects, burdensome taxes, unaccountable policy czars, command-and-control energy policy, and a government takeover of health care, came to Washington, DC, to show their disapproval;

Whereas individuals also wanted to convey their displeasure with the future tax increases that will be required to pay for deficit-financed spending;

Whereas these individuals understand that the fundamental American principles of limited government and personal liberty are under direct assault;

Whereas this dedicated group of freedom-loving Americans believe in open, accountable, responsible, constitutionally based government;

Whereas hundreds of buses, multiple caravans of cars from across the country, and many individually chartered flights, as well as thousands of lone-traveling cars and trucks, brought these patriots to Washington, DC, solely for this event;

Whereas these individuals endured considerable personal expense to get to the march, including transportation and lodging expenses, as well as lost wages in many instances;

Whereas estimates of the number of people who peacefully marched from Freedom Plaza to the West Front of the U.S. Capitol on September 12, 2009, range as high as 1,700,000 marchers;

Whereas all 50 States were represented in the march;

Whereas this event is considered to be the largest ever gathering of fiscal conservatives in Washington, DC;

Whereas special accolades are due to the grassroots citizens organizations across the country who helped individuals exercise their constitutionally protected First Amendment rights in the Nation’s capital; and

Whereas when the current trends of government expansion and freedom retrenchment are reversed, it will be due in large part to the efforts of the hundreds of thousands who marched on Washington, DC, on September 12, 2009: Now, therefore, be it

Resolved, That the House of Representatives expresses its gratitude and appreciation to the hundreds of thousands of people who marched on Washington, DC, on September 12, 2009, to show their love of liberty and their grievance with recent government actions.

Really, Republicans?  This is how you're spending your time?  This is the legislation you're working on?  An homage to the Beckians?  Seriously?  Wow.

To Hell with passing health care reform!  The GOP would rather focus on giving kudos to their intellectually challenged and don't-call-us-racist-but-we-are-kinda-racist base.  You remember:  these people...

 

Ever the classy bunch, don't you know.

[h/t Jed at DK for the photo montage]

GOP: We're very good at saying "no."

I love satire. Especially when so many people don't get it.

The shrinkage effect: Men who voted for McCain suffer testosterone drop after election

I'm not sure what's funnier:  the results of this study or the fact that someone actually came up with it in the first place.  It must have been a fun IRB.

From Agence France-Presse via Raw Story...

WASHINGTON — Men who voted for Republican John McCain in last year's US presidential election saw their testosterone levels fall significantly when they learned he had lost to Barack Obama, a study showed Thursday.

Saliva samples collected from 163 men on the evening of the election showed that voters for both McCain and Obama had similar testosterone levels when polling stations closed on the east coast, but the levels in McCain backers fell when Obama was announced as the winner.

By contrast, testosterone levels among men who voted for Obama remained stable. Taking into account the fact that polls shut and results were announced at night -- a time when men's testosterone levels usually decline -- the study said the level was equivalent to a rise.

I guess the other research question I would have wanted to study would have been how high these guys' testosterone levels were spiked every time Sarah Palin shot something, encouraged rally mayhem, or winked at the camera.

I want to hug this man, and 86 year old WW2 verteran and lifelong Republican who spoke out in support of gay marriage equality

Recently I watched a boatload of YouTube videos related in some way to California's Proposition 8, the constitutional amendment banning gay marriage.  Several of us worked on a research project that looked at how people made their opinions known via YouTube.

None of the videos were as moving as this one from an old man speaking out at a public forum in Maine against their Question One ballot measure.

[thanks, Mike H. for the link]

Today's installment of the curious nature of Republican values: "Rape's OK with Us" edition

Yeah, I know.  This has been around for more than a few days now.  But it still both amazes and annoys me.  Thirty Republicans in the US Senate voted against an amendment that would hold government contractors to the law.  In this case, the law has to do with rape.  And the contractor in the hot seat is perennial Republican darling KBR (you might know them as Halliburton).

John Stewart does what the mainstream (you might know them as "liberal") media doesn't bother to do:  call these assholes on their behavior...

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Rape-Nuts
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Ron Paul Interview

I especially love that Stewart points out that these same clowns were ever-so-quick to scream for ACORN's funding to be cut for crimes that could have been but weren't.  But they say that trying to get involved with who the government hires and what standards to hold them to isn't really in their purview.  Really?  What a bunch of hypocritical bullshit.  You guys can't call this KBR-Rape's OK issue "playing politics" while pouncing on ACORN before facts were even assembled.  And I'm not sticking up for ACORN; they created their own problems.  But how can you vote in favor of KBR over rape?  Just couldn't bring yourselves to vote for something that has Al Franken's name on it, huh?  Fucking petulant children.

(Like how Stewart uses the word "kerfuffle" in his report.  An underused but fun word, at least in my view.  As you'd likely expect from me.) 

Baseball and Insurance: the only two industries immune from antitrust law. Guess which one is afraid of competition?

Hint:  it's not one that is organized by leagues.

This might be the season we drive down I-90 for a few Chicago Blackhawks games

The Hawks took one back in grand style tonight at the United Center...

 

The Blackhawks were down 5-0 about 12 minutes into the game.  But instead of acting like the Hawks of old, the kicked ass and won 6-5 in overtime. 

From Chris Kuc at the Chicago Tribune...

Anyone who witnessed the first 12 minutes of the Blackhawks' game against the Calgary Flames on Monday night would find it hard to believe the night ended with the Hawks at center ice raising their sticks in a victory salute.

After spotting the Flames a five-goal lead in the first 11:43, the Hawks roared back with three goals in the second and one in the third and went on to record an amazing 6-5 come-from-behind overtime victory at the United Center.

The comeback matched the biggest in NHL history, according to the Elias Sports Bureau.

Brent Seabrook scored the winner 26 seconds into OT. Patrick Kane had a goal and two assists, and Patrick Sharp, John Madden, Dustin Byfuglien and Dave Bolland also scored. Brian Campbell added two assists as 10 Hawks landed on the scoresheet.

(Photo credit: Scott Strazzante, Chicago Tribune / October 12, 2009)