Kerfuffle

One of the things I am thankful for: We still have Sarah Palin to laugh at. Bless her heart; she brings so much joy and laughter to me also too

Indeed, Sarah Palin is the gift that keeps on giving.  And like all good things, sometimes one can just have too much also, you bet.  I have one conservative friend who likes to advance the opinion that I am afraid of Ms. Palin whenever i make light of her. apparently ignorance and shallowness  "You really fear her, don't you?" TR wrote on my Facebook page a few weeks ago.  Umm, no.  Hardly.

It's become a conservative meme:  Democrats really fear her; they are obsessed with her.  While I doubt the first part of that thought, I reluctantly agree that liberals do seem kind of consumed with the half-term-then-quit former Alaska governor.  I can't speak for everyone, but my fixation is due to the fact that she is so fucking hilarious.  Not intentionally, mind you, but she is a walking cartoon.  Unfortunately, she is also a sad commentary of how we seem to pick candidates in this country these days.  To hell with gravitating toward someone who is really smart, since it would appear that intellectualism and competence are bad words (at least in Republican circles).  People cite Palin as being "real" and "for liberty" and "of the people."  Oh my fucking god are you fucking kidding me?  Really?  That's your basis for seeing her as a viable candidate?  Wow.

Fortunately, she is still easily duped.  During the book-signing tour this week, the Canadian version of The Daily Show, This Hour Has 22 Minutes, sent a "correspondent", in character to interview Palin.  While her handlers detected a rouse, Madame Palin herself didn't. she just saw another press opportunity...

So, yes, I do have a slightly unhealthy fixation on Sarah Palin.  I admit it.  I can't help it... she's such a fucking dolt.  As the comedians like to say, the jokes just write themselves.  I am thankful this Thanksgiving that in these troubled times, we have Sarah Palin to laugh at.

You betcha.

Palin says her "facts" are better than AP's facts while Amazon dumps her book, pre-release, into the bargain bin also, too

To read Ron Fournier and some of the other Associated press political writers out of Washington DC is to know that these days the AP is tacking right.  That's one of the things that makes this so funny...

From HuffPo...

Former Alaska Governor lashed out at the Associated Press Sunday for doing a fact-check on her memoir, "Going Rogue."

"Amazingly, but not surprisingly, the AP somehow nabbed a copy of the book before it was released," she wrote on her Facebook page. "They're now erroneously reporting on the book's contents and are repeating many of the same things they spewed during the campaign and afterwards. We've heard 11 writers are engaged in this opposition research, er, "fact checking" research!"

The AP reported that Palin's account often contradicted her record as well as current events. Her depiction of the McCain campaign is also frequently at odds with internal campaign emails.

Even funnier:  the book isn't officially released until tomorrow, but over at Amazon, it's already in the bargain bin for $9.00 (You Save: $19.99 (69%).  Before it's actually released.  Before it's fucking released.  HA!

Incidentally, this is the same book that had El Rushbo lauding it as one of the "most substantive books" on policy he'd ever read.  Seriously, Boss, you need to get yourself a library card and do a little more book learnin'. 

The bargain bin!  Before it's released!  Really.  Best that she stick to Facebook. 

Apparently, FOX News and its TeaBagging pals were able to engineer the spectacular loss of a House seat held by the GOP since before the Civil War. Oops!

Too funny.  De Facto Republican leadership at FOX News and the Tea Party folks have done what the Democrats have not been able to do in 70 elections.  They essentially lost the seat by forcing out the locally chosen Republican candidate in favor of a third-party conservative.

The list of supporters of Doug Hoffman includes Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Neal Cavuto, Sarah Palin, Tim Pawlenty, Mike Huckabee, Fred Thompson, the Dick Armey, Rick Santorum, Geroge Pataki, Newt Gingrich and many more all lined up to trash regular Republican candidate Dede Scozzafava.  They called her all kinds of things beyond just being a RINO, and backed the otherwise unknown Doug Hoffman.

Democrat Bill Owens won.  Doug Hoffman lost.  He lost.  He fucking LOST.

Now, you know, this was a victory for real Republicans.  Real Republican Michelle Malkin says so...

Hoffman may have lost narrowly, but NY-23 is a much broader victory for conservatives who believe the Republican Party should stand for core limited government principles ....This is a victory of principle.

Better a donkey in office that acts like a donkey than a donkey in elephant’s clothing making a complete ass of the GOP.

Moreover, NY-23 is a victory for conservatives who refuse to be marginalized in the public square by either the unhinged left or the establishment right. A humble accountant from upstate New York exposed the hypocrisy of GOP leaders trying to solicit funds from conservatives by lambasting Pelosi and the Dems’ support for high taxes, Big Labor, and bigger government — while using conservatives’ money to subsidize a high-taxing, Big Labor-pandering, bigger government radical. The repercussions will be felt well beyond NY-23’s borders. Conservatives’ disgust with the status quo has been heard and felt. They have been silent too long. They will be silent no more.

OK, Michelle.  And you guys don't care about this stupid seat anyway.  Forget about how the de facto leaders at FOX News harped on how important this election as, and how it would be proof that the Tea Baggers were now calling the shots and that's how the Republican party is going to reclaim the throne they so rightly deserve.  That was before.  Before Hoffman lost.

Jed Lewison posted a montage over at DK, under the headline Engineering Defeat, that is about eight minutes worth of the several hours FOX News gave over to promoting this race and their special candidate...

The last time NY23 was not held by a Republican, it was held by a Whig.  Priceless.

Vanity Fair takes the editing pen to Sarah Palin's resignation speech, and in the process demonstrates what a dimwit she really is

Too funny.  From Vanity Fair.com...

If you watched Sarah Palin’s resignation speech, you know one thing: her high-priced speechwriters moved back to the Beltway long ago. Just how poorly constructed was the governor’s holiday-weekend address? We asked V.F.’s red-pencil-wielding executive literary editor, , together with representatives from the and departments, to whip it into publishable shape. Here is the colorful result.

Here's the first two pages.  It goes on, but I think you'll get the point.

Ugh. Pity the poor sap who has to edit that book she's "writing."

Jeez, you'd think after five runs at four schools for that journalism degree, she's be able to do a little better.  Or hire someone who could do better.  What a fucking laughably ignorant train wreck this woman is.  I can only hope she remains a Republican standard-bearer, along with Rush, Newt and Joe the Plumber.

Read the rest, if you can stand it, here.

Listening to Senators Sessions and Graham during the Sotomayor hearings, I just can't help thinking in terms of cartoon sterotypes

Admit it.  You thought of this already.

Sessions is Foghorn Leghorn, from the attitude and misogyny to the stammer and the accent. 

And while Graham doesn't sound like the widow hen, he does kind of fill out the role of Miss Prissy in a pinch.

It is both annoying and entertaining to see how painfully short the memories of senators seem to be.  Just three years ago, Judge Alito proudly said he draws on his Italian-American heritage in considering decisions before him... how could he not?

But a woman... a Latina...?  No way!  I mean she's not a rich white dude, so what's she even doing there?!

[credit Terry Pinder aka @shortstack81 for first suggesting the characterization, to me at least.]

Marcy Wheeler calls a blowjob a blowjob on MSNBC. And she does so while making a pretty good point about why we need to investigate Cheney and the DOJ's facilitation of certain equally indelicate matters... like torture

This pretty much speaks for itself...

And the quick apologies at the end apparently speak for Marcie Wheeler, who had this (and more) to say on her blog afterwords...

At some point, though, we as a country have to be willing and able to weigh what the Village did in the late 90s against the massive illegality of the Bush White House and, finally, realize there are more important things than a blow job, and we need to take those more important things at least as seriously as that magic blow job that captivated the press for so long under Clinton. 

I don't know whether my efforts today helped or hurt those efforts. Next time I'll just repeat, endlessly, torture torture torture. It'll probably cause the same kind of outrage.

Offensive?  The phrase "blow job?"  Gimme a fuckin' break.  DOJ maneuvers leading to illegal torture... orchestrated by Darth Cheney in the shadows... now that's offensive.

Remember three years ago, and how all the GOP senators could say was that they wanted an up or down vote on SCOTUS nominees?

Yeah, well that was then and this is now.  Republicans, in an almost humorous twist of irony, are proclaiming Sonia Sotomayor is a racist.  Isn't that right, Rush?

It will be an interesting show.  As Joe at AmericaBlog notes...

...[K]eep your eyes on Senator Jefferson Beauregard Sessions (R-AL). He's the ranking Republican on the Judiciary committee and is leading the charge against Sotomayor. In 1986, Sessions own nomination to become a federal judge was defeated (in a Republican-led Senate) because he was accused of being a racist. Let's just say, the leopard hasn't changed its spots. The Jefferson of 1986 is the Jefferson of 2009. He can't help himself. The nomination of a Latina to the Supreme Court could put him over the edge.

It says a lot about the current state of the GOP that Sessions is the leader of the anti-Sotomayor effort. (It's really not too hard to imagine Sessions in the uniform of a Confederate officer.) In some ways, the hearings will show us more about Sessions and the GOP than Sotomayor.

Meanwhile, CBS Radio News White House reporter Mark Knoller is now tweeting the hearings, but not before pimping a new CBS News poll that shows 62% of Americans are undecided on Sotomayor.  No shit?  You mean each and every one of us hasn't thoroughly researched the nominee and come to a reasoned conclusion, Mark?  Wow.  Who knew. 

In any case, I expect Sessions and other Republicans to more or less give Sotomayor a hearty helping of their best character assassination and baseless harassment.  Go ahead, dimwits; chase away whatever remaining Hispanics  consider your party a viable alternative.  Be true to your xenophobic selves.

Oh, yeah, and keep in mind:  Empathy is a dirty, awful liberal thing.  Feeling empathy, like drawing on your personal life experience, is so anti-American. 

That Tina Fey is hilarious! Her "I'm quitting my job 'cause you media people are mean to me" thing on TV today was too perfect

I love that Tina went and did a Palin skit for daytime TV.

Wait, what?

This isn't Tina Fey?  Oh, come on; sure it is.  I mean, you don't just quit being a governor because of friction from the press.  Not if your a tough Alaskan bush woman who field dresses your own moose you shot with an assault rifle from a chopper, anyway.  Hell, Mark Sanford was boinking some lady from Argentina on South Carolina's dime and got totally exposed over it... and he's not quitting his job as governor.  Blago didn't quit... he waited for the indictments and impeachment.

Oh, Tina, umm, Sarah, say it ain't so.

So it really is her, too, yes.  Well, I'll be damned.  Didn't see this coming.  But I guess being a quitter is something she perfected in all those attempts at those four colleges she attended.

Her statement was one long winding ride through crazyville.  Wow.  And to think this lunatic could have been vice president.  Scary shit. Also.

The first thing I thought of when Al Franken was (finally) named the winner of the senate seat in Minnesota: I hope there's video of Bill O'Reilly's head exploding!

Honestly, it's the first thing I thought of.  Unfortunately, Billo the Clown was taking the day off.  Maybe he's in seclusion.  Maybe he's out getting drunk.  Maybe he was realizing that he doesn't shape the world after all.

I like Bill in Portland Maine's take from DK this morning...

Hi, Bill. It's me...Bill.

I've been waiting for this day so that I could say something special to you.

You see, Bill, I remember exactly where I was when I heard you declare on your radio show, shortly after Election Day 2008, that "that guttersnipe" Al Franken would "never" set foot inside the United States Senate.

It wasn't a toss-away line. You were emphatic. You called Al Franken a guttersnipe and swore he'd never become a United States Senator. Do you remember that, Bill? I do. I was in the car with my partner driving down Falmouth Street in Portland. As we turned the corner onto Oakdale Street, you made your bitter, non-negotiable declaration. I seared that moment into my brain, Bill. And here we are, at the intersection of Psychic Friends Network Avenue and Reality Boulevard.

This morning I want to tell you something, Bill O'Reilly. Come closer... Closer... Cloooooser...

Okay, man, that's close enough.

Now, with my lips a quarter-inch from your---whoo---abnormally-waxy ear canal, I can finally whisper the words I've waited nearly eight months to say:

"Game over, Bill. You lose. And not just another battle with Al. This time you lost the war."

I couldn't have said it better myself.  Now excuse me while I laugh my ass off before I get back to that thesis thing.

The Nerd versus Jock Test: John Hodgman examines President Obama at the Radio and TV Correspondents' Dinner

There's a lot more to John Hodgman than just his portrayal of PC on the Apple commercials.  He's a very funny writer and performer, as demonstrated by his appearance last night at the Radio and TV Correspondents dinner in Washington along side the President.  It's worth the 14 minutes of viewing time, especially if you're a nerd.

If you like his stuff, get a copy of his book, The Areas of my Expertise.  This is one book that is truly better as an audio book, as his delivery is as much fun as the words themselves.