Many years ago, a co-worker of mine at an advertising agency accompanied his client to a sales meeting in Las Vegas. The client made a hell of a lot more money -- and had a pretty huge expense account -- compared to my associate. But being a good agency guy, my coworker kept up with his client at the blackjack tables as best he could. When he returned to the office, he included in his expense report an entry of $300, identified as "gambling."
Back then, we had a woman in the department that looked over time and expense reports like an IRS auditor. A request to be reimbursed for gambling expenses did not fly. "The IRS does not consider gambling losses to be a deductible business expense," she informed him coldly as she dropped the rejected T&E report on his desk. He appealed to the senior vice president who ran the department, pleading his case that he was only doing what he was told to do... shadow the client and be his pal during the trip.
The department head just shook his head, sighed and said, " You idiot. You can't get reimbursed for gambling, and you should never have put it down on your report.." My associated asked what he should have done, then, since even the boss agreed it was a difficult situation and he was, after all, out $300. "Too late now, but you should have put it down as a freakin' dinner."
I am reminded of that story as I read about the whining and carping about bonuses by the Wall Street high rollers who did a pretty lousy job looking out for their firms' and clients' money, if you evaluate them on financial performance, and yet still expect huge bonuses.
As the New York Times reports...
“People come here because they want to work hard and get paid a lot for working hard,” one investment banker said Friday as he wended his way, lunch bag in hand, through the World Financial Center. “I think there’s a disconnect between Wall Street and Main Street.”
...
“My bonus is ‘shameful’ — but I worked hard to get it,” said John Konstantinidis, a wholesale insurance broker, lunching Friday at Harry’s at Hanover Square. “I’m a HENRY,” [he] added. “High Earner but Not Rich Yet.”
...
Nonetheless, it was rather remarkable on Friday how many white shirts denied getting a bonus altogether when they were asked. Indeed, if the data obtained by reporters in the district was any measure, there is no telling where that $18 billion really went.
“On Main Street, ‘bonus’ sounds like a gift,” he said. “But it’s part of the compensation structure of Wall Street. Say I’m a banker and I created $30 million. I should get a part of that.”
“There’s got to be a better term for it,” he added, turning to Mr. Novello. “Earned income credit?” he wondered aloud.
Exactly, Mr. Novello. Find a better way to phrase it. Better yet, if you are going to get it one way or the other, roll it into your actual salary package. Calling it a "bonus" suggests it is something extra, like a really, really big tip. Given the current state of economy most of the Main Street Americans don't seem to be in a mood to be leaving a big tip, especially to you guys. Even if individual brokers are hard at work making big money deals, the big names in banking and on Wall Street are, right now, pretty much viewed by the rest of us as big, expensive restaurants with rather mediocre food and really shitty service. People don't tip for that.
What you guys need is some public relations and marketing advice so in the future it won't look like you are gouging the taxpayers who just bailed out your firm as you run away with bonuses of bombastic proportion. Or - how's this -- maybe you can actually be paid on a scale that is even remotely reasonable for whatever it is that you do. Oh, right. Then it would be socialism.
Whatever it is that you decide to tell people as you scam these "earned income credits," best that you do say it from a distance. You probably don't want to be too close to those people whose modest investment portfolios went to shit while in your care. The average person may not understand how financially complex things are in your world. But when they see their 401K down by 50%, and that loss as cash equivalent equals one tenth of your "bonus," they get a little testy. To them, "socialism" is starting to sound like a good idea. (Have you seen this map lately?)